A Little Kindness, Please. Extra Ice.

This week, my longtime friend and fellow school counselor, Patti, passed away after a terrible illness. For years, we met every few months at the same restaurant to talk. We often stayed so long that we had three refills of diet soda.

Patti was an amazing school counselor. I watched students walk into her office with somber faces and leave looking lighter. Together, we brainstormed ideas to try with struggling students, teachers, and parents. Those conversations often left us stronger and even more determined to make a difference. How fortunate I was to have such a friend! She showed kindness to everyone she met, and her joyful laugh was contagious.

October’s theme in our Whole Year Classroom Lesson Plans is “Strong, Safe and Kind.” It feels especially meaningful to me this week.

According to the CDC, 18% of youth ages 12–17 reported symptoms of depression in the previous two weeks, based on data collected during 2021–2023. Those are students walking through our school hallways today, waiting for someone to give them hope.

This week, as you walk through the hallways or teach in your classroom, notice the students who rarely participate. Notice the child on the playground with no one to play with. Notice the student sitting alone at lunch. Notice the high school student whose grades have slipped and who seems less motivated than usual.

Remember that when their feet are on the floor inside your school or classroom, there is an opportunity to discover something they want or hope for—even if they cannot put it into words yet.

When a student acts out, becomes insulting, or disrupts your class, PAUSE before moving to a referral. Take a breath. Give yourself a moment to settle, then invite the student to talk privately. CONNECT by saying:

“You are my student and I care about you. Can you let me know how we might work together today?”

Other students may not hear your private conversation, but they will notice how you handle things. You are showing them what “strong, safe and kind” looks like.

Patti gave that gift so freely.

Remember that “Values are caught, not taught.” Do that with a kind word, a calm response, or a moment of genuine interest.

And treasure your friendships.

Reference: CDC, Data and Statistics on Children's Mental Health