Bullying Prevention Starts With What's Already Working

October gives us an opportunity to talk with students about bullying prevention. Bullying is not a one-time argument, it is a repeated situation that uses power to keep hurting, threatening or shutting someone out.

Bullying can look different at each age, but the key questions are the same:

• Is a student being hurt or excluded?
• Is there a power imbalance?
• Is the behavior repeated or likely to happen again?

Bullying can be verbal, social, physical, or online. I think it is important for teachers to ask their students what they think bullying is and then share the examples below.

Elementary

A group repeatedly tells one child they cannot play and persuades others to leave them out. An older student regularly takes a younger student's belongings and threatens to do it again. Classmates repeatedly mock a child's speech, clothing, or way of learning.

Middle school

Students repeatedly spread rumors to damage a classmate's friendships. A popular group deliberately excludes one student from activities and pressures others to do the same. Students make a classmate the target of an ongoing group chat filled with insults or embarrassing images.

High school

A student uses their social standing to repeatedly humiliate a peer in person or online. Teammates repeatedly threaten to isolate someone unless they comply with the group. Students circulate a humiliating post or image, encouraging others to share or comment on it.

Then, let's put a solution focused spin on it. This week, ask your students:

"What are you and your friends already doing that helps others feel safe, respected, and included in our classroom (or school)?"

Give them a quiet minute to think, then invite them to share a moment they noticed: someone making room at a table, checking on a classmate, or speaking up when a joke went too far.

Ask: "What did that student do that made a difference?"

Say: "What would it be like if more of that happened this week?"

Invite teachers to notice kind actions, too. A simple "I saw you make room for someone. That helped." tells a student that their choice mattered.

Students often know more about belonging and kindness than we think. Let's ask them to show us what is already working and help them do it again.