Keeping Your Words Alive

As counselors, we are trained to join, listen, and respond to our school clients. Each day, we strive to do this well, especially when students come to us upset or discouraged. Using a solution-focused approach, we aim to understand what the student wants and guide them towards potential solutions through thoughtful questioning.

Yet, as soon as one student leaves, we’re often pulled in different directions by the next urgent matter. With such a busy schedule, it's easy to move on without reflecting on those important conversations.

I remember, during my time as a school counselor, frequently thinking of one more supportive question I could have asked or an encouraging statement I could have made after a student had left my office. What if that extra bit of thoughtfulness could have helped the student see their own strengths more clearly?

Here’s the good news: it’s never too late to make a difference.

Inspired by David Epston’s narrative therapy work, where he would write letters to clients reflecting on their sessions, I started a simple practice. I kept a stack of inexpensive note cards on my desk. When a student came in struggling with a tough situation, I took just a minute or two to jot down a few encouraging words. I sealed the note in an envelope addressed to the student and gave it to their teacher to pass along.

Here’s an example:

Sharie, thank you for sharing about the problem with your friend. After our conversation, it struck me how important relationships are to you and how much you value sharing experiences with others. As you go through your day, notice the moments when other people bring you joy and think about the small things you do that help those friendships work. I look forward to hearing what you discover.
— Linda Metcalf, School Counselor

These brief notes had a remarkable impact. Students often thanked me for the letters, and many brought them back when they returned. The letters seemed to keep our conversation alive in their minds.

So, even if your week feels overwhelming, choose at least one student or teacher you’re concerned about. Write a brief note about their strengths and encourage them to notice exceptional moments as they go through the week. You might find that your words resonate long after they leave your office, empowering them to carry forward the insights they discovered.