Itchy Times: Turning Challenges into Opportunities
It’s that “itchy” time of year when the same students keep appearing for the same conversation and you’re running out of ideas. You find yourself wondering and scratching your head thinking, “What else can I possibly do?”
So, on this Monday, let’s examine a few common scenarios that may be itching you, and see if we can soothe your way to Friday!
A student who frequently bullies others and shouts disrespectful comments at teachers is back on your schedule—again. No matter what interventions you try, she continues to push and control others.
Another social media post is circulating, threatening several girls who come to you, frustrated and angry. With limited resources to address actions outside of school, you report the incident yet again, but the online posts persist.
A parent conference you’ve been dreading looms over your week. The parents are demanding and difficult, and their high school student is caught in the middle. You have countless other responsibilities, but this meeting consumes your focus.
Traditional, problem-focused responses often lead to direct confrontation, which may not be your natural approach. This, in turn, escalates tensions and leaves everyone feeling defeated. The result? Frustrated school staff, hopeless predictions, and a cycle that continues.
But what if, just this week, you try a different experiment?
By applying a solution focused approach, infused with narrative counseling, you can shift perspectives and interactions in meaningful ways just by thinking of the possible drive and/or strengths behind their actions.
Here’s how:
Reframing Bullying Behavior: Instead of simply demanding that a bullying student stop, invite them to channel their influence positively. Challenge them to be a leader in promoting a character trait for the week—perhaps responsibility, respect, or kindness. Provide opportunities where they can be recognized for constructive contributions.
Redirecting Social Media Issues: If a teacher or staff member needs help designing flyers or brochures for school events, consider enlisting students suspected of social media threats to assist in digital projects. In doing so, they gain visibility for positive reasons, and they experience recognition in a way that isn’t centered around conflict.
Engaging Defensive Parents: When angry parents arrive, acknowledge their dedication. “You must love your child very much to take the time to be here.” This unexpected affirmation often lowers defenses. Then, ask them what their best hopes are for the meeting. If their expectations seem unrealistic, validate their aspirations and explore how achieving even part of their goal could make a difference. This approach fosters collaboration rather than resistance.
By shifting the way we describe individuals to ourselves, we transform the way we interact with them. They, in turn tend to respond differently. When interactions change, conversations evolve, and new, more constructive outcomes can emerge.
It might just lead to a more soothing, peaceful, productive, and encouraging week for you.
