From the Office to the Classroom: Making Skills Stick
I know that you pour your heart into every student session—listening, guiding, asking powerful questions, and helping students visualize what’s possible. And yet, one of the most common reflections I hear from counselors is this:
“I just wish they would follow through with what they came up with.”
We’ve all been there. A student nods in your office, shares their goals, and even identifies past successes. But once they return to class, the follow-through is inconsistent or doesn’t happen at all. It can leave us wondering—did anything stick? What else can I possibly do?
Don’t despair. It happens and what I have come to notice over time is that lack of follow through happens when:
The best hopes question was not answered by the student in a clear manner…it might have been suggested by you or someone else. Beware! Unless the student shares with you what she hopes for, chances are, the student won’t work on it. It must be their idea. That’s why asking, “what are your best hopes?” to the student after you hear their initial concern is vital to the solution focused approach. Follow their lead and keep asking questions until you have a clear picture of what they want, not what they don’t want! Big difference!
The preferred future question was answered in a vague manner, and neither of you really knows what it will look like in action. Below is an example of a paint-by-number picture that many of us have done before. Notice how hard it is to make out the picture completely until each area is colored in. The same goes for the preferred future. It must be described in detail!
In fact, neuroscience tells us that when we keep going over something new in our minds, again, getting it clearer, new neural pathways are formed through a process called neuroplasticity. This is how we adapt and change. It also helps us to follow through.
For example, a student who is behind in his work could walk out of your office and say, “I will get my work done.” The student may appear confident and sure. But he still may not know how to get that work done.
By asking the student questions like those below, the student will identify and color in his preferred future and therefore, follow through:
“If I looked into your classroom this afternoon, what would I notice you doing to get the work done?”
“What will the teacher see you do that will tell her you are getting your work done? What else will she see?”
“What could the teacher do to help you get the work done, like other teachers have before?”
“What else would others notice you doing that would tell them you were getting the work done?”
“When you do get the work done, who will be the most pleased? Who else? What might it do for that person when you finish the work?”
“What will it be like for you when you finish the work?
Bringing Teachers into the Follow-Through Increases Success!
When you have gathered the best hopes answer and the preferred future description, take a break, and walk the student back to class! Knock on the door and when the teacher comes out, say:
“Jayden and I talked today about ways he can get his work done so his grades come up. Would you mind watching out for what he does in class, just for today?”
Yes, just for today. You see, small amounts of success can lead to bigger successes. When students hear that teachers and counselors are both noticing growth, change feels real—and worth continuing.
That’s how skills can from your office… to the classroom. Try it out, just for this week. 🙂
